Sing me a song mommy...

Ever since I was a little girl my dream was to sing. You could turn on Tiffany or Mariah Carey and just watch me go! In my mind being just like them would be the greatest accomplishment ever!

Singing goes way back in my family-- My Granny's side of the family had singers all over, and my Grandaddy's side- well I think every single Dumas child grew up singing, and this is just my mom's side of the family. My Dad's side, well most of them can sing too, just might be in a different language sometimes. :) Music is definitely in my genes!

Growing up I did have the chance to do more than most with my music. I was given opportunities that I am still very thankful for. My mom was definitely my biggest fan. She did all she could for me to get to live out a dream that I grew up always wanting. The music industry is a harsh reality, believe me. People can make you second guess yourself in every way possible, from what you wear, to how long your hair is, to your weight. You think middle school kids are mean and critical until you start down a path in this business. I was starting to try and take it all a little more serious, but then it all just went away.

17 years old and suddenly I'm becoming a mommy. Always wanted to be a mommy for sure, but at 17?? Well long story short- Tanner Posey came into my life Sept 27th of 2003 and ever since I looked into those big blue eyes, I was never the same again.

Here I am 3 kids later and I wouldn't change a thing. Dreams change, and they do when you don't even realize it. Like the Bible says, For I know the plans I have for you. I am so honored that he planned to send me these 3 little angels. They Bless my life every single day. When I sing to Tanner, he tells me I should go to Hollywood. When I sing to Makayla she tells me I sing like the most beautifulest singer in the world.(lol) and Landon, well he doesn't have to say anything bc when I sing to him he just stares at me with those beautiful blue green eyes and I melt. I may not be singing to thousands on a big stage somewhere, but I sing to the best audience a girl could ever have.

3 things that make the world go round....

Landon Posey. This little guy represents SO much to me. He has this "can do" mentality unlike anything I have ever seen. If at first you don't succeed, throw a fit and try try try again. Watching him play is always interesting. He groups everything by type and puts them in the highest spot he can reach. He will put one car on the table, then go and find every car he can to add to it, once he put a monster truck up there with the cars, looked at it funny, and knocked that monster truck right off the table. Little things like that let me know how smart he is. He may not be talking yet but the jibber jabber is NON STOP. It's the cutest thing (esp when he is mad) you can't help but laugh! He came at a time when I really needed him. He was due on my mom's Birthday but was early, but he came out with her red hair- that's for sure! He will always be connected to his Grana :) He really is just one ball of sunshine! 

Makayla Posey. The only little princess. She is the strangest kid I have ever met. I love her for it too! She can come up with the wildest things that make you laugh and say HUH at the same time. Her new thing is being polite. She says she wants to try to be the most polite person in the princess universe. (See told ya, weirdest things) She does pretty good with that, most of the time... She is still however a 5 year old crazy kid! She loves to make up songs and sing them to Landon. That little boy just lights up completely when she starts to sing one of her silly songs to him. She has a pure heart. She loves everyone she ever meets. Everyone is special to her. "Love your neighbor as yourself" should be her motto, bc she def represents that very well. 

Tanner Posey. The one that started it all. He marks the beginning of our little family. Couldn't have picked a better son if I tried. He has this spirit like no other kid I know. He takes everything in, takes nothing for granted. How many can say they live like that? He amazes me everyday in one way or the other. He is wise beyond his years. The other night he was determined to read the book of Joshua. He wanted to learn all about Joshua bc he felt that he was like Joshua or wanted to be like him- a leader who always did what God wanted him to bc God would bless him. All this he took from Veggietales of course. He then asked me could he get a Bible that he could understand he said "You know, with like kid kind of words." He is wonderful. 

My 3 blessings. I don't know what I would do without them. I am so thankful that God placed these 3 in my life. 

New Year "Solutions" :)

New Year resolutions, How many ever claim one and stick to it? Not I says the little asian girl that's for sure! Well I came up with a solution to my problem. Don't set goals that are unobtainable.

This year I decided to "try and be more organized". Notice I sneaked that word "try" in. As long as I do my best to try to be organized I haven't failed. RIGHT? :) 

So far so good :) I am realizing I need more tools of the trade here, but I have managed to organize what I could with what I have.

Going through stuff I haven't given thought in a while leads you to find things and memories you had forgotten about. As I went through some of my stuff and some more of mom's stuff I got to realizing all the things and people that have meant so much to mom, me, and the family.

Mom kept everything in her Bible cover it seemed. She rarely threw anything away. I know this for a fact considering I found a Baby Shower card with a 20 in it that dates back almost 9 years now. I couldn't believe it. It was still sealed and everything. A small yet great blessing and to think, had I not decided to organize things, I wouldn't have ever found it.

I stopped what I was doing as I found my Mam Maw's New Testament Bible. When you open a Bible that belonged to my Mam Maw you didn't just find scriptures, you found notes, on every single page. This one I have here was given to Mam Maw June of 1980 by Uncle Albert it says. Off to the side of that it says "Thank you, I read it and I loved it." By this time in her life I can only imagine the number of times she actually had read the Bible, cover to cover, and how many different notes she must have written.

On the front cover there are all kinds of things written, wedding dates and Bible verses and such. There was one thing she wrote on there twice. Ephesians 2:8. So with that I turned the Bible to Ephesians 2:8 and read it. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. I sat and thought about that for a moment. I felt as if I needed that right in that moment. Ya know, often times we want to take credit for all the good things that happen within us and our lives. In one of the notes it says "Do not care who gets credit as long as God gets the glory."

So far in this new year life has been easier, better, and full of happiness. And I know who gets all the credit and glory for that!

Change.....

Change. One of the most emotional words ever. Change makes people happy, sad, mad, glad... you name it.

 I started off this new year on the road from Birmingham back to Fort Stewart. 6 hours or so in a car will leave you with a lot of time to think. As I am sitting there, watching 2 kids play DS games and 1 watching and trying his best to snatch a DS to play himself, I got to thinking about how much joy those 3 little things sitting in the back seat bring me and well, everyone they meet. 

While in Birmingham I can't even tell you how many times someone told me "your kids are so sweet" or "your children are so well behaved." I'd love to take all that credit but I can't. They each have these personalities that I think they were just blessed with naturally. To know them is to love them. One thing I didn't realize about Tanner and Makayla, was just how strong they are. 

My mother isn't doing very well at all anymore. Slowly she's fading and her sickness is taking over. We took the kids to see her. Right away I can hear her screaming down the hall way, so I stop Tj and the kids and go on in first. Not real sure why she was hollering like she was, but I think it's just another part of her dementia. She calmed down but started to cry. Crying, I'm told, is what she does a lot lately. Another part of it all. Tanner and Makayla didn't hesitate to go give her a big hug, despite the fact that she looks and acts completely different. Makayla kept saying Hey Grana Hey Grana and pretty much told her everything she got for Christmas, even with mom just sitting there crying, she just kept talking. Tanner was a little bit more reserved, I could tell it was harder for him. As we were leaving they both hugged her some more and told her they loved her very much. I'd like to think that even though she couldn't remember if she even ate lunch that day, that she would remember those little words and hugs from the kids, even if it's just in her heart. They were so very strong and just handled themselves so well, even though it was hard to see Grana like that. 

Last night me and Makayla went through some of mom's old Bibles and old photographs. Makayla started asking about my mam-maw (Granny's mom) and my grandaddy. I could see the wheels turning in her head as I explained they were in heaven now. She wanted to know was Grana going to go there, was Granny, was mommy and daddy, was she.. and so on and so on. Now here's a question you all think you know exactly how to answer until your 5 year old with tears welling up is staring at you. Going through my mind was words that I had just heard Bro. Dean say on Christmas Day.... God didn't promise us physical healing, he promised us spiritual healing. With that in mind, I explained it the best way I knew how. She instantly just smiled and said well oh ok then. 

Change. The word itself will almost make me cry on impact. When things change we go through every emotion in the book. One thing I know for certain. God will not change and his promises will remain as true now as they ever were, and he promised spiritual healing and because of that, I know that one day my mom's situation will change and she will no longer be in any kind of pain or confused or sad. She will be there singing songs with Grandaddy and Unlce Max and all those that we love that have gone before us, and one day I will be there too.