Change.....

Change. One of the most emotional words ever. Change makes people happy, sad, mad, glad... you name it.

 I started off this new year on the road from Birmingham back to Fort Stewart. 6 hours or so in a car will leave you with a lot of time to think. As I am sitting there, watching 2 kids play DS games and 1 watching and trying his best to snatch a DS to play himself, I got to thinking about how much joy those 3 little things sitting in the back seat bring me and well, everyone they meet. 

While in Birmingham I can't even tell you how many times someone told me "your kids are so sweet" or "your children are so well behaved." I'd love to take all that credit but I can't. They each have these personalities that I think they were just blessed with naturally. To know them is to love them. One thing I didn't realize about Tanner and Makayla, was just how strong they are. 

My mother isn't doing very well at all anymore. Slowly she's fading and her sickness is taking over. We took the kids to see her. Right away I can hear her screaming down the hall way, so I stop Tj and the kids and go on in first. Not real sure why she was hollering like she was, but I think it's just another part of her dementia. She calmed down but started to cry. Crying, I'm told, is what she does a lot lately. Another part of it all. Tanner and Makayla didn't hesitate to go give her a big hug, despite the fact that she looks and acts completely different. Makayla kept saying Hey Grana Hey Grana and pretty much told her everything she got for Christmas, even with mom just sitting there crying, she just kept talking. Tanner was a little bit more reserved, I could tell it was harder for him. As we were leaving they both hugged her some more and told her they loved her very much. I'd like to think that even though she couldn't remember if she even ate lunch that day, that she would remember those little words and hugs from the kids, even if it's just in her heart. They were so very strong and just handled themselves so well, even though it was hard to see Grana like that. 

Last night me and Makayla went through some of mom's old Bibles and old photographs. Makayla started asking about my mam-maw (Granny's mom) and my grandaddy. I could see the wheels turning in her head as I explained they were in heaven now. She wanted to know was Grana going to go there, was Granny, was mommy and daddy, was she.. and so on and so on. Now here's a question you all think you know exactly how to answer until your 5 year old with tears welling up is staring at you. Going through my mind was words that I had just heard Bro. Dean say on Christmas Day.... God didn't promise us physical healing, he promised us spiritual healing. With that in mind, I explained it the best way I knew how. She instantly just smiled and said well oh ok then. 

Change. The word itself will almost make me cry on impact. When things change we go through every emotion in the book. One thing I know for certain. God will not change and his promises will remain as true now as they ever were, and he promised spiritual healing and because of that, I know that one day my mom's situation will change and she will no longer be in any kind of pain or confused or sad. She will be there singing songs with Grandaddy and Unlce Max and all those that we love that have gone before us, and one day I will be there too.