Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Comparison

I'm washing dishes, ok not technically -- I'm just placing them in this fancy box that washes them for me. I start talking, albeit the kids think I'm yammering on to myself,  but I'm just having a conversation with GodI , I'm asking for him to show me why this word comes up so much. One word. Comparison. It's came up so much in the past 2 days alone.

As I'm standing there, I picture this hallway, doors up and down both sides, I have a key- looks like a normal every day boring key.  I see all these people with their keys, some are glittery, neon, heart shaped, some with football team logos, ya know- fun looking keys. Here I am with this boring plain key. I start walking trying to find the door that the key goes to. As I walk I get to see glimpses of what is on the other side of the doors that everyone's "nicer" key opens. Extravagant, Elegant things, I'm thinking wow, If only I could have gotten that key, or that key all I got was this plain key what could it possibly lead to. Then suddenly I'm stopped at the end of this hallway by a wall. A wall I can see over but I can't get over leading to my door. On the door there's a note saying, You spent so much time glaring at what others have and didn't bother trying to see what you have so you built this wall.

Wait,  I built this wall? I spent all this time comparing what I have, what I do, where I am at, I didn't think for one second that I could have something great and wonderful that was meant FOR ME behind my own door. So now what? I'm standing here totally blown away thinking well God what do I do now. I hear Tear it down. Brick by brick. Remove that wall. Don't let wanting everything that others have or do keep you from your blessings, your joy, your purpose God has for you.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Thoughts on all the "sharing" that's going around...

This is solely my opinions and thoughts-- 

In light of all the sharing of unverified information that we all think to be true because it sounds good, or looks good, I feel we need to sit back and remember a few things. At least I do. 


  • 2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by FAITH, not by SIGHT.
This is not a verse to just refer to when you are unsure about things. This is something to be applied to every day life. It's like on that commercial, you can't put anything that isn't true on the internet, lets be realistic. Half of what you see is altered into what they WANT you to see. Case and point- if I share a photo of myself on facebook or what have you, best believe it's photo shopped in the best way I know how-- You will see what I want you to see and not the blemishes and not so perfect teeth and circles under my eyes. What you see online can and will be deceiving, esp by those that want you to think the way they think. Like I want you to think I look like I do on facebook, all the time (ha ha ha) but that's just not true and I can admit that.... over being silly now, just wanted to make a point. Here we are sharing photos and accusing and what fuels this? Faith or Sight? I think you know the answer. You know I often remind myself, PRAY before you speak. What would happen if we PRAYED before we hit share? Something to think about. 

  •  Philippians 4:6 Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
This is something I should repeat to myself daily. I can be such a worrier, there are SO many scriptures to remind us to NOT worry. Safe to say our God knew we would need those words, over and over again. We all get so busy sharing all these Gun control, Sandy Hook, Obama, Government downfall stories we don't fully see what is going on. We are worrying. Worrying and becoming anxious about tomorrow, not to mention worrying about things that are OF this world.

  • Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind....
You've prob heard it before, Be in the world, not OF the world. It is the BEST thing to be reminded of. This world is our temporary home. We need to make an impact while we are here. We need to encourage our children to grow up and be in it not of it. All the conspiracy theories and the constant complaining and moaning about how screwed up everything in this world can be- is not what our focus should be. We are here, for now. We don't have any control over anything except ourselves, because we have been given the free will to decide for ourselves.

Today I choose not to worry about those situations around me that have nothing to do with me. Today I choose to love everyone for them, no matter their thoughts and opinions.(and football team lol) Today I choose to play with my children and bring them up in a world of cruelty the best way I know how. Today social media propaganda will not influence me in anyway. Today I live for you Dear Lord. You have my back. I am not alone, I am not afraid. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Timing the expected

There's the saying "expect the unexpected" I'm sure the definition behind this thought is pretty self explanatory. Expecting what is not expected, has nothing on the realization of the things you already know are coming. 

The end of 2012, we knew since Sept that this was not going to be the way we wanted to end the year. Deployments are never easy, they are never fun, it really doesn't matter if it's your 1st or 7th. 

At 12am on Dec 29th, we prepared to say goodbye to our soldier. This night was unlike most of these types of nights. Tj had just made the cut off and picked up his E-5. They allowed him to be pinned prior to leaving so that we could be a part of his ceremony. Our oldest, Tanner, had the honor of pinning the new rank on his father, a moment I am grateful he got to have. In this moment I'm faced with this over whelming feeling of just knowing, that in this time of sadness, God has provided us a happy moment. Something to celebrate. How great is our God?! 




An hour passes, the feeling I once had has diminished. I know what is coming. I know that when I get back in the car, and I pull up to the house, when I lay my head down in our bed, I'm doing it all alone. These thoughts creep in and the tears are uncontrollable. The expected... reality can knock you sideways. I missed that man from the moment I watched him run out of the battery to catch up with the guys that were marching off (that story- let's just say my husbands job had him tied up the whole night and formation pretty much went on while he was still sorting keys out and locking stuff up) Our children adore their father. They are older now and it makes goodbye harder. No doubt about it, we love our Sgt. Posey, with all our hearts. 



Dec 31st, 1:30am. Middle of the night in a Nyquil induced slumber can have your mind going crazy when your phone rings. The moment I fully realized who it was on the other end, I knew what was happening. My brother doesn't just call to say hey how are ya, esp not at 1:30 in the morning. This was the call I had been expecting to get at any given moment. My mom had been diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. She had been declining ever since. Part of me knows why it happened so fast. She didn't want to be where she was or how she was, esp after my Grandfather went through similar. Expected.... we knew this was coming. I think I knew even more in Oct when I last got to see her. Seeing her how she was... absolutely killed my heart. Sitting there, going through all the things one says to someone else when this situation happens to them,  was absolutely doing me no good at all. I am strong in my Faith and what I believe but I am 24 hours removed from saying goodbye to the love of my life, I was not prepared to say goodbye to THE LOVE that gave me LIFE. I would be lying if I told you the words God why didn't leave my lips that night. Yes Tiffany, question God, the one you know to trust, the one you know never gives you more than you can handle, the one you know is the reason why you can smile and see the light in times of darkness. WAY TO GO. I can't explain it, it's like I went through 18 personalities sitting in my living room floor crying my eyes out. No matter how much of me knew this was better, and my mom is happy again, and she wasn't suffering anymore, I still couldn't stop my erratic behavior. Nothing prepares you for things like these, no matter how expected.  

I was overwhelmed with support from friends and family, it all meant the world to me. I'm still feeling the love and support now, and I am grateful. Because the Lord provides comfort and happiness in times of sadness. How great is our God! 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39